MySpace mugged me/I grew a beard once, but it fell off/My Little Drum For me, it started with AIM. I was somewhat aware of this "phenomenon" in high school, but rarely did I have the time or need for instant messaging. Then came college, and with that, distance. So AIM became a staple of life: we would use it in the dorms to decide with friends if we wanted to eat, go to class, or get drunk on...life. Then came the excuses to flirt with the opposite sex, which brought a whole new dimension to the IM (Eventually I think I even broke up with a girl over IM) ((no wonder I suck with girls)) (((I like making up grammar rules, like adding parenthesis with every addition to your initial statement))). Soon I was talking to family and friends all over the country using AIM. I figured the internet could not be any more useful than it was right then.

Apparently, I was way off.

I sometimes feel like I have been ostracized by people my age because I have not become a member of the world that is known as MySpace (or, to a lesser degree, Facebook). ((I know this isn't true)) (((I sure hope not anyways))). I've drawn the line at keeping a blog, since it's mainly for me anyways. And I'm happy with my Blogger, ranting about life or lack thereof. However what little contact I have had with people over Blogger or AIM seems to have vanished over the past few weeks/months. I'm sure the real reason is because I have cut myself off and become uninteresting; because everyone I know is still moving and I'm'standing still'. But I feel like passing the buck, so I think I'll go ahead and blame these web communities because it's my blog and I can (screw Friendster...I tried that crap and realized that the whole thought of something like it just really bummed me out. Plus I keep getting "invites" from computer "check out my website" whores. I'm not that desperate...yet).

So I thought that when I left the college arena that this thing would gradually disappear from my radar, but I have come to find that it has spread everywhere. I don't know much of anyone any more who isn't on it; nor can I go somewhere without overhearing someone mention it all. It's quite confusing to me because I'm looking too much into it as I try to understand the implications it will have on our society. I think in theory it would be great as far as creating a global community. But it might be a blind global community, after hearing how long some of my friends have spent on it. But that's another aspect all together (there was a big article about it in the Times a few months ago, but unless you sheck out some coins to the subscribe to TimesSelect it's unavailable online <Do You My Space 10/28/05>).

Anyways this being posted at ten o'clock on a Saturday night lets you know how much of a loser I am these days (I won't tell you what music is playing behind me right now) ((A Charlie Brown Christmas)) (((before that Pet Sounds))). Well I don't know. I still refuse this MySpace thing, if only now out of pure stubbornness. I'm waiting to hear back from the Peace Corps placement office, it could be anyday now or it could be another month. I grew a beard but shaved most of it all this week. (My Grandpa yesterday: 'Well lets see...when I was 23 I was in the jungle of the Philippines.' The story included not only a beard but also a shaved head and an eye patch. It was quite possibly one of the coolest stories I had ever heard...except the one involving my other grandaddy on his first hunting experience and a clever misunderstanding of the term "duck!" when out in the field. I'll give you a hint to how that one ends: a raised gun and a young kid asking "Where?").

Lately (and it's my fault) I have been idle, and it's beginning to maybe take its' toll, however at one point this week I think I understood the importance of it all...for a brief second of enlightenment. Still over the past few weeks I have been scattered everywhere, from Germany before the war to the jungles of Vietnam; from protests on the University of Wisconsin campus and the 1863 New York City draft riots. I have experienced weddings and bar rooms; waiting rooms and homelessness on the sidewalk. I have been to India and Africa and Austin and Illinois. I have felt sorrow and rejection and worry and loneliness; I have laughed and smiled and learned and taught. I have come to understand Einstein and question Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I have drank water and realized what it meant. And all of these experiences I have explored without physically leaving a (rough) two hundred mile radius, most without leaving a forty mile radius, and still almost all of them within the confines of my own home.

I don't know what next week holds, but I'm determined to make it better than the last. Fall temperatures are finally here; windows can open at night. I need to start jogging again. I need to stop eating grease. I need to finish the book I keep avoiding. I need to stop longing. I need to stop missing what I don't even know. I need to face reality, as best as I possibly can right now.

"Then Jesus said to them, "Don't you understand this parable? How then will you understand any parable?" Mark 4:13

  ¶ 10/22/2005 11:28:00 PM