Chapter 25
Saturday, July 29, 2006
even if you don't give a damn,
Saturday afternoons are for reading alumni newsletters. That's just a fact.
¶ 7/29/2006 04:09:00 PM 2 comments
Friday, July 28, 2006
do the right thing
So my Dad's house burned down last night. No one was injured, thankfully. Michelle's girls are down in Louisiana visiting their grandparents. They don't know yet. Dad called me this morning pretty shook up. A half hour later, he said, and they would have been asleep. At this point it looks like a transformer for outside lights exploded in the back of the house.
Summer=idleness=trouble. I just don't care for summer. I'm tired of heat waves and sweat and dead senior citizens and loud music and war and serial killers and civil unrest and global warming. Even the gossip pages in the paper are depressing. Failed marriages and drug addictions and shaving 'accidents' and car wrecks. I'm tired of the Yankees just walking all over the Rangers like it's nothing.
Bring on Autumn, and the romance of the changing seasons. At least it makes life a little more...pretty. ¶ 7/28/2006 11:43:00 AM 1 comments
Summer=idleness=trouble. I just don't care for summer. I'm tired of heat waves and sweat and dead senior citizens and loud music and war and serial killers and civil unrest and global warming. Even the gossip pages in the paper are depressing. Failed marriages and drug addictions and shaving 'accidents' and car wrecks. I'm tired of the Yankees just walking all over the Rangers like it's nothing.
Bring on Autumn, and the romance of the changing seasons. At least it makes life a little more...pretty. ¶ 7/28/2006 11:43:00 AM 1 comments
Monday, July 24, 2006
"A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund..."
6:28 pm. monday. leftover sushi. forgotten corona. with lime. a law and order rerun I've seen a dozen times.
--
Well someone got fired today, but it wasn't who I expected. But that doesn't mean that another exit isn't right around the corner. When you work in an office with a staff of nine, it's sort of a big deal. And when the person has a family, it's also kind of sucks. Not that perhaps it wasn't coming for a long time. I'm so thankful that this gig on my side is set up the way it is. Working for the federal government and "stationed" here. For just one year. Ignore drama as much as possible and work to the best of your ability. That's rule #4.
Regardless of today's events, work has been going pretty well. I mean I'm accomplishing a lot, making way on serious projects: coordinating CPR trainings, updating our websites, and next week I'm going to Emmitsburg, MD for some training at the FEMA/EMI Training Center. I guess that's all I can do right now when I'm wearing the work hat--make the best for myself, and do the best on my side for the organization.
---
--
- Q: What did the hunter say upon seeing the elephants coming?
- A: Here come the elephants.
Well someone got fired today, but it wasn't who I expected. But that doesn't mean that another exit isn't right around the corner. When you work in an office with a staff of nine, it's sort of a big deal. And when the person has a family, it's also kind of sucks. Not that perhaps it wasn't coming for a long time. I'm so thankful that this gig on my side is set up the way it is. Working for the federal government and "stationed" here. For just one year. Ignore drama as much as possible and work to the best of your ability. That's rule #4.
Regardless of today's events, work has been going pretty well. I mean I'm accomplishing a lot, making way on serious projects: coordinating CPR trainings, updating our websites, and next week I'm going to Emmitsburg, MD for some training at the FEMA/EMI Training Center. I guess that's all I can do right now when I'm wearing the work hat--make the best for myself, and do the best on my side for the organization.
---
- Q: What did the hunter say upon seeing the elephants coming wearing dark glasses?
- A: Nothing, he couldn't recognize them.
- ---
Thursday, July 20, 2006
"The face of a child says it all, especially the mouth part of the face."--Jack Handy
I looked briefly tonight at The Book of Matthew, Chapter 18. It is the parable where Jesus states that unless we humble ourselves & have faith like a child then we will be unable to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
Last week I attended the PawSox baseball game. There are so many amazing moments when you go to see a Baseball game live, but the most stirring seems to come from the expressions on the faces of the children in the bleachers. Maybe they're watching the game for the first time, or maybe they're bigger fans than us grown-ups will ever be. Baseball is unique like that; it's not football, with it's constant tackles and destruction. It's stressful and delightful all at once. It is an art form. (That is unless you're the Kansas City Royals--ahem 32-62--but I digress...)
I mean, look at this picture from a recent Cubs game taken by Jodie on a recent trip to Chi-Town. There's a reason in all those sports movies that children are the last to lose faith in the baseball players. It's Matthew 18, told over and over again.
Also this week I rented Close Encounters of the Third Kind from the library. I had never seen this, so I was excited to finally get a chance. I made it about halfway through Tuesday night but stopped to watch the amazing lightning storm outside my window. An hour or so later as I was about to resume the local news started covering a fire on an oil ship at the Port of Providence and that took up the rest of the night.
So I finished it last night, and the more I thought about it today not only was it a visually stunning film, but it was also quite spiritual. Imagine if every time we thought of God (and we all think of God and a higher being at one time or another, some more often than others, some of us hardly at all, but our minds inevitably go there at one point. It's how we're wired, if I can sum up thousands of years of mankinds thoughts' into four words) we think of God as if we were thinking and experiencing the concept of a Higher Power for the first time ever.
If you haven't seen the movie, perhaps you've seen the familar clips of a young Richard Dreyfuss and the expression he gives upon encountering the glorious UFO Mother Ship. It's a expression of awe and adoration for the beauty of the moment. You can tell there is fear but the shear glory of the moment shines through the fear and pushes it into an expression of amazement.
If every time we even considered the idea of God this was our expression, physically and mentally, I believe that is what Jesus was saying in Matthew 18. We can't picture God. We put physical characteristics on Him, but again that's just how we're wired. And while it's not important what we don't see, at the same time how we (per)/(re) ceive it is perhaps the most important part of our belief in a God. We become more and more distracted as we grow up, and I would like to believe that we come full circle before we physically die. God is not about politics or even nesc. organized thoughts. God is about amazement and fear and wonder...and we encounter this when we revert to faith like a child.
Just some thoughts before dinner. Now I must go; my Speghetti-O's and corn-mix is bubbling on the stove, and my weather radio is beeping at me. ¶ 7/20/2006 09:22:00 PM 0 comments
Last week I attended the PawSox baseball game. There are so many amazing moments when you go to see a Baseball game live, but the most stirring seems to come from the expressions on the faces of the children in the bleachers. Maybe they're watching the game for the first time, or maybe they're bigger fans than us grown-ups will ever be. Baseball is unique like that; it's not football, with it's constant tackles and destruction. It's stressful and delightful all at once. It is an art form. (That is unless you're the Kansas City Royals--ahem 32-62--but I digress...)
I mean, look at this picture from a recent Cubs game taken by Jodie on a recent trip to Chi-Town. There's a reason in all those sports movies that children are the last to lose faith in the baseball players. It's Matthew 18, told over and over again.
Also this week I rented Close Encounters of the Third Kind from the library. I had never seen this, so I was excited to finally get a chance. I made it about halfway through Tuesday night but stopped to watch the amazing lightning storm outside my window. An hour or so later as I was about to resume the local news started covering a fire on an oil ship at the Port of Providence and that took up the rest of the night.
So I finished it last night, and the more I thought about it today not only was it a visually stunning film, but it was also quite spiritual. Imagine if every time we thought of God (and we all think of God and a higher being at one time or another, some more often than others, some of us hardly at all, but our minds inevitably go there at one point. It's how we're wired, if I can sum up thousands of years of mankinds thoughts' into four words) we think of God as if we were thinking and experiencing the concept of a Higher Power for the first time ever.
If you haven't seen the movie, perhaps you've seen the familar clips of a young Richard Dreyfuss and the expression he gives upon encountering the glorious UFO Mother Ship. It's a expression of awe and adoration for the beauty of the moment. You can tell there is fear but the shear glory of the moment shines through the fear and pushes it into an expression of amazement.
If every time we even considered the idea of God this was our expression, physically and mentally, I believe that is what Jesus was saying in Matthew 18. We can't picture God. We put physical characteristics on Him, but again that's just how we're wired. And while it's not important what we don't see, at the same time how we (per)/(re) ceive it is perhaps the most important part of our belief in a God. We become more and more distracted as we grow up, and I would like to believe that we come full circle before we physically die. God is not about politics or even nesc. organized thoughts. God is about amazement and fear and wonder...and we encounter this when we revert to faith like a child.
Just some thoughts before dinner. Now I must go; my Speghetti-O's and corn-mix is bubbling on the stove, and my weather radio is beeping at me. ¶ 7/20/2006 09:22:00 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
In which Josh looks desparately for the kitchen door
Hey, who's the boy from Texas who forgot what real heat felt like? This guy. All weekend long I've been singing to myself the old Irving Berlin song: "We're having a heat wave/A tropical heat wave/The temperatures rising/It isn't suprising..."
Haha. It is actually a little surprising, it actually feels like home out there. Humid as all can be, which doesn't nescesarilly feel like Fort Worth. I think we're peakingright about now at 94, although it actually feels like somewhere around 104 because of the humidity and the fact that I live and work within blocks of downcity Providence and I-friekin'-95. What bothers me isn't the heat, but that we're deciding to "sweat it out" at the house, rather than turn on our AC. Dumb? Yes. But it all supposedly ends tonight with some severe weather moving in, and I survived last night ok. I dozed off around 9:00 because...well it was hot and not moving seemed like the only sensible thing to do. But around 10:30 Becky called me out and I met her, Nate, Gideon and Kristin downtown for a beer/late night cheap food at McCormicks and Schmicks. It wasn't too bad walking down there, and it just felt good to leave the house!
Back home around 12:30 and I eventually made it to sleep, and then I left the house around 7:30 to walk to work before it got too hot. But now I'm sitting here debating leaving to walk home in the heat of the day or just staying around the office and kicking it here for another hour or so.
I need to make it home by 6:00 though, as the local ABC affiliate was here today and interviewing/filming us working around the office. Nice.
Maybe I'll head down to the Biltmore, read the paper the paper and have some tea and sympathy. Sounds good to me.
Today's high temp. in Beirut: A comfortable 81 degrees. Catch that breeze of the Mediterranean and man...well I think I'll sweat it out over here.
Oh no...what's this?
¶ 7/18/2006 04:22:00 PM 2 comments
Haha. It is actually a little surprising, it actually feels like home out there. Humid as all can be, which doesn't nescesarilly feel like Fort Worth. I think we're peakingright about now at 94, although it actually feels like somewhere around 104 because of the humidity and the fact that I live and work within blocks of downcity Providence and I-friekin'-95. What bothers me isn't the heat, but that we're deciding to "sweat it out" at the house, rather than turn on our AC. Dumb? Yes. But it all supposedly ends tonight with some severe weather moving in, and I survived last night ok. I dozed off around 9:00 because...well it was hot and not moving seemed like the only sensible thing to do. But around 10:30 Becky called me out and I met her, Nate, Gideon and Kristin downtown for a beer/late night cheap food at McCormicks and Schmicks. It wasn't too bad walking down there, and it just felt good to leave the house!
Back home around 12:30 and I eventually made it to sleep, and then I left the house around 7:30 to walk to work before it got too hot. But now I'm sitting here debating leaving to walk home in the heat of the day or just staying around the office and kicking it here for another hour or so.
I need to make it home by 6:00 though, as the local ABC affiliate was here today and interviewing/filming us working around the office. Nice.
Maybe I'll head down to the Biltmore, read the paper the paper and have some tea and sympathy. Sounds good to me.
Today's high temp. in Beirut: A comfortable 81 degrees. Catch that breeze of the Mediterranean and man...well I think I'll sweat it out over here.
Oh no...what's this?
¶ 7/18/2006 04:22:00 PM 2 comments
Thursday, July 13, 2006
"Hey McFly! Why don't you make like a tree...and get outta here!"
So there I was, sitting at work today listening to the Eternal Sunshine...soundtrack and thinking about Back to the Future and how when you're stuck inside your cubicle hitting send/receive repeatedly on Microsoft Outlook and nothing comes through, you start to wonder if in fact you even exist. How lame is that for a life?
But it is, like you're body parts are dissapearing in front of your eyes, your image slowly erasing from all photographs...!
Well, maybe not that drastic.
Sidebar: We ask so much out of life. We just do. It's human nature. Watch 'An Incovenient Truth' and see where it's got us. No, seriously. Go see it.
I was looking back through my calendar today at work, filling out a progress report, and it's amazing how much April seems like yesterday. Literally. And February as if it were last week. Time has moved so fast this year.
And yet it seems like last summer was a decade ago. Of course from what little Einstein I have studied I know that time remains a constant. But some days don't you just wish it didn't exist? What would life be like then? Would we even know any better? Sun=day. Moon=night. Boy, let's think about that for a second.
Then let's think about how dangerous time travel actually is, and how glad we should be that they stopped producing DeLorean's long ago... ¶ 7/13/2006 07:31:00 PM 4 comments
But it is, like you're body parts are dissapearing in front of your eyes, your image slowly erasing from all photographs...!
Well, maybe not that drastic.
Sidebar: We ask so much out of life. We just do. It's human nature. Watch 'An Incovenient Truth' and see where it's got us. No, seriously. Go see it.
I was looking back through my calendar today at work, filling out a progress report, and it's amazing how much April seems like yesterday. Literally. And February as if it were last week. Time has moved so fast this year.
And yet it seems like last summer was a decade ago. Of course from what little Einstein I have studied I know that time remains a constant. But some days don't you just wish it didn't exist? What would life be like then? Would we even know any better? Sun=day. Moon=night. Boy, let's think about that for a second.
Then let's think about how dangerous time travel actually is, and how glad we should be that they stopped producing DeLorean's long ago... ¶ 7/13/2006 07:31:00 PM 4 comments
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Go West young man, stopping at the snack bar first
Ok, I finally saw Brokeback Mountain. What a depressing damn story. If I want a western buddy movie, I'm gonna stick to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. No, if you ask me the best western, hands down, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada. Tommy Lee Jones directed a much more brilliant film of isolation and friendship. And unlike Brokeback, Jones' actually filmed his western in The United States. I'm just saying.
Of course, I rented the Back to the Future trilogy from the public library this weekend...now if you want a great western go no further than Back to the Future, Part 3. I assume there will be no argument here. You could mix the two and get humurous results...but why mess with perfection?
¶ 7/09/2006 07:34:00 PM 2 comments
Of course, I rented the Back to the Future trilogy from the public library this weekend...now if you want a great western go no further than Back to the Future, Part 3. I assume there will be no argument here. You could mix the two and get humurous results...but why mess with perfection?
¶ 7/09/2006 07:34:00 PM 2 comments
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Manuvering Traffic on I-95 (or finding zen in the voice of Waylon Jennings)
The voice in my head said: "Hey, Josh, did ya get that memo? Mmm hmm, yeah. You see it's just that, well you're not in college anymore. Yeah. Just wanted to remind you. Ok? That's great."
Then another voice gently, yet intensely, began to sing:
Sitting in a park in Paris, France
Reading the news and it sure looks bad
They wont give peace a chance
That was just a dream some of us had
Still a lot of lands to see
But I wouldnt want to stay here
Its too old and cold and settled in its ways here...
So I went for a 1 1/2 hour jog tonight after work down the East Bay Bike Path. Through Barrington and Warren, past houses and sailboats on the water. I don't really care about distance or time limits, I just go until I feel tired, then I turn back. But then sometimes I forget I have to turn back, and I run one way until I tire...
As I was sitting on what I only assume was someone's private beach, the first voice returned again. It called me a wuss. And then I started to get bit by mosquitos, so I started back down the path. Towards tomorrow. ¶ 7/06/2006 09:22:00 PM 4 comments
Then another voice gently, yet intensely, began to sing:
Sitting in a park in Paris, France
Reading the news and it sure looks bad
They wont give peace a chance
That was just a dream some of us had
Still a lot of lands to see
But I wouldnt want to stay here
Its too old and cold and settled in its ways here...
So I went for a 1 1/2 hour jog tonight after work down the East Bay Bike Path. Through Barrington and Warren, past houses and sailboats on the water. I don't really care about distance or time limits, I just go until I feel tired, then I turn back. But then sometimes I forget I have to turn back, and I run one way until I tire...
As I was sitting on what I only assume was someone's private beach, the first voice returned again. It called me a wuss. And then I started to get bit by mosquitos, so I started back down the path. Towards tomorrow. ¶ 7/06/2006 09:22:00 PM 4 comments
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
a case of the Independence Days
The lit-up church sign had letters that spelled out "HAVE A NICE SUMMER." At least I think it was a church sign, it might have been a theater company. Or maybe it was in my mind; I was driving past Thayer Street, an oasis of alcohol and conformity among the relative quiet of College Hill at night. With any luck, it was all in my mind...
It's dangerous to write a blog when something's heavy on your mind. Then again, maybe it's dangerous to keep a blog at all. I mean who in their right mind would put their words out there for the entire world to see. Other than, you know, the Limbaugh's and Franken's of the world. (shudder). But then again, probably not any more dangerous than listening to T. Bone Burnett at midnite with the bedroom door closed.
I've never been in a situation before like one of the many I'm in now, where I find myself with knowledge that someone's life will be completely shaken this week when they are laid off...and they don't even have a clue. Well maybe he does, because he's been asked to have a "talk" with his boss. But it's probably not much of a clue...which has been a large part of the problem. Tough, when you're put into situation with those you work with on a daily basis where you know more to an important matter than they do. Like whether or not they will cotinue to work there...or get paid...
'The place I go to draw my pay,
Closed the door on me today.
Told me just to stay away,
And don't come back again.
Ahh: I told my Mama: "Baby, don't you cry.
"I'll get a job before the day go by."
I don't know where, and that is why,
I'm a worried man.'--Worried Man, Johnny Cash
I have a friend here that finds herself in the midst of a little bit of a breakdown. A similar work situation to my own, but with her it is just bleeding over into many other areas of life that just get to be so...complicated. We're calling it a quarter-life crisis. I went through one several years ago now, back when I was 20. It wasn't fun. But it was life-changing. And we'll all have to do it.
Usually it is shortly followed by a drastic geographic move. And in some cases, the moving doesn't stop for quite a long time. Case in point: My "re-evaluation" occured in Lubbock, TX. I know live in Rhode Island. I don't ask.
Speaking of Lubbock, listen I've got to get this off my chest: I love the new Dixie Chicks album. It's not that I listen to it nonstop, but when that first song comes across my disc changer in the car I just dig into it so much. The first and last songs aren't too bad, and in between there's a few hits, a few misses, a few trying too hards. But all in all still better than most of the mainstream music released lately. And no, it's not because I find the women attractive--it's the music.
'And I can't say what life will show me,
But I know what I have seen.
And I can't say where life will lead me,
But I know where I will be.'--Sitting In Limbo, Jimmy Cliff
You can call all over the country, connect to friends and relatives and play catch up all you want but sometimes what you're seeking--what will fill the void in your soul that particular moment appears right in front of your face. And chances are it will appear in the form of a firework, a brief second or two of bright light followed moments later by an echoed explosion of noise. And that's it, and you're left sitting there in the silent darkness to soak it in and interpret as best you can. That's what's so hard about life...and that's what's so beautiful about life! The fireworks. ¶ 7/04/2006 12:05:00 AM 1 comments
It's dangerous to write a blog when something's heavy on your mind. Then again, maybe it's dangerous to keep a blog at all. I mean who in their right mind would put their words out there for the entire world to see. Other than, you know, the Limbaugh's and Franken's of the world. (shudder). But then again, probably not any more dangerous than listening to T. Bone Burnett at midnite with the bedroom door closed.
I've never been in a situation before like one of the many I'm in now, where I find myself with knowledge that someone's life will be completely shaken this week when they are laid off...and they don't even have a clue. Well maybe he does, because he's been asked to have a "talk" with his boss. But it's probably not much of a clue...which has been a large part of the problem. Tough, when you're put into situation with those you work with on a daily basis where you know more to an important matter than they do. Like whether or not they will cotinue to work there...or get paid...
'The place I go to draw my pay,
Closed the door on me today.
Told me just to stay away,
And don't come back again.
Ahh: I told my Mama: "Baby, don't you cry.
"I'll get a job before the day go by."
I don't know where, and that is why,
I'm a worried man.'--Worried Man, Johnny Cash
I have a friend here that finds herself in the midst of a little bit of a breakdown. A similar work situation to my own, but with her it is just bleeding over into many other areas of life that just get to be so...complicated. We're calling it a quarter-life crisis. I went through one several years ago now, back when I was 20. It wasn't fun. But it was life-changing. And we'll all have to do it.
Usually it is shortly followed by a drastic geographic move. And in some cases, the moving doesn't stop for quite a long time. Case in point: My "re-evaluation" occured in Lubbock, TX. I know live in Rhode Island. I don't ask.
Speaking of Lubbock, listen I've got to get this off my chest: I love the new Dixie Chicks album. It's not that I listen to it nonstop, but when that first song comes across my disc changer in the car I just dig into it so much. The first and last songs aren't too bad, and in between there's a few hits, a few misses, a few trying too hards. But all in all still better than most of the mainstream music released lately. And no, it's not because I find the women attractive--it's the music.
'And I can't say what life will show me,
But I know what I have seen.
And I can't say where life will lead me,
But I know where I will be.'--Sitting In Limbo, Jimmy Cliff
You can call all over the country, connect to friends and relatives and play catch up all you want but sometimes what you're seeking--what will fill the void in your soul that particular moment appears right in front of your face. And chances are it will appear in the form of a firework, a brief second or two of bright light followed moments later by an echoed explosion of noise. And that's it, and you're left sitting there in the silent darkness to soak it in and interpret as best you can. That's what's so hard about life...and that's what's so beautiful about life! The fireworks. ¶ 7/04/2006 12:05:00 AM 1 comments
Saturday, July 01, 2006
I (used to) think you should at least respect the Office of the President. But--and I feel sad about this--I've never felt that about Congress. Not in my current lifetime, anyways. And especially not in this current session.
"Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., once mocked AmeriCorps as a sweet deal for people "picking up trash and singing 'Kumbaya.' " He and other critics have long ridiculed the concept of compensating volunteers.
But attacking the program over the use of the term "volunteer" is silly. The nation is defended by an "all-volunteer" military, after all."
Read the rest in this brief editorial on the cutting of the AmeriCorps Budget. Then read this one from James Lee Witt, former head of FEMA 1993-2001 and a guy who actually knows what he's talking about. Unlike, say, Mr. Santorum.
¶ 7/01/2006 10:00:00 AM 0 comments
"Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., once mocked AmeriCorps as a sweet deal for people "picking up trash and singing 'Kumbaya.' " He and other critics have long ridiculed the concept of compensating volunteers.
But attacking the program over the use of the term "volunteer" is silly. The nation is defended by an "all-volunteer" military, after all."
Read the rest in this brief editorial on the cutting of the AmeriCorps Budget. Then read this one from James Lee Witt, former head of FEMA 1993-2001 and a guy who actually knows what he's talking about. Unlike, say, Mr. Santorum.
¶ 7/01/2006 10:00:00 AM 0 comments
