noise pollution tonight I went to a church in East Greenwich. As I was leaving the building and walking to my car, I head crickets in the woods around the parking lot. Honest-to-Joe crickets! I couldn't believe it.

When I just got back to my house in the city and walked in from the driveway I remembered why hearing crickets just half an hour earlier was such a bizarre occurance. Surrounding me now are the all too familiar sounds of the police sirens, revving engines & squeeling tires, and the air conditioner unit on the high-rise apartment near my house. Ah, yes...this is my neighborhood.  ¶ 6/11/2006 10:30:00 PM 0 comments

  Adieu, Alberto: We hardly knew ye! No, I'm not talking Gonzalez. That guy's still the AG down in DC. I'm talking about TS Alberto, now heading towards...where else? Florida! Yea!!! 1 down, now onto Beryl. Beryl??? Who''s idea was it to use Beryl? And it's supposed to be a female name, too!

Just got done talking to my brother on the phone. Higlight of the conversation would have to be this quote, regarding his stubbed toe: "I was walking out around the ranch the other night wearing flip flops and I stubbed my toe on a railroad tie. (pause) Twice."

Finally, I spent 4 bucks at 7-11 to buy a box of what turned out to be 12 cookies. 12! New chocolate covered Nutter-Butters. Kickin', I know right. And they're not bad. Not "Girl Scout" good, and not 4 dollar for 12 good, but pretty good nonetheless.  ¶ 6/11/2006 02:46:00 PM 0 comments

  What the death of Zarquawi really symbolizes When I was at my Pre-Service Orientation for VISTA, one of the activities they had us perform was splitting up into partners and determining--without talking to one another--answers to a series of questions such as "what kind of car do they drive?" or "what would something out of character for this person be?" My partner, a retired New York State Trooper named Art who was much wiser than me, determined that something out of character for me would be to get angry.

Boy did he hit the nail on the head. I don't get angry, or even mad, very often. When I have shown anger in the past usually my friends just wind up laughing at me and thinking that I'm joking around. It's not healthy to get angry over the little things in life, and I personally don't believe in taking out your anger on the people or objects that might be around you. Anger is an emotion--and an important one--however like everything else it has a time and a place, and can easily be trumped by joy and laughter.

Yesterday I found myself running an errand for work and in the car yet another report on NPR was coming out regarding fallout from Hurricane Katrina. On this particular show yesterday--On Point--the person being interviewed was the historian and Tulane Professor Douglas Brinkley, who has been recording New Orleans history for many years and has just written a new book detailing individual successes stories from NO citizens (should be mentioned first) and the many, many failures to come out of Katrina. As a non-resident of New Orleans it has been easy for me to not pay attention to all of the reports that continue to emerge. However as Brinkley read from his book and discussed the issues he was presenting I was captivated, because for once I felt as if I were not getting any spin from a report, but that I was getting as much a truth as I had yet. After all this was coming from a long-time resident and a long-time historian, not a politician or a non-native news reporter. This was just a man--an academic--wanting to tell the truth. 'Truth without an agenda' as one Amazon reviewer states. Well wait...does that exist?

As I circled the neighborhood around my office listening to the show I just began to get angrier and angrier. Anger like I hadn't felt in a long, long time. At one point I had to ask myself: "Hey Josh, where is this coming from?" The reports of coruption and politics, of state & local failures & federal failures just really made me feel hot and bothered, and not in a good way. To think that we've grown so complacent to forget this storm...not to mention the storms constantly barraging us from all sides on a daily basis. Politics. Race (rats and skin tones). Hatred. Corruption. Complacentness. Misplaced values. Competitiveness. Greed. I could continue listing traits for hours.

The thing about life, about history, is that it's never been right. That's the lesson history teaches us. The 1950's were not the perfect decade. 1776 was not the best year ever. Rome was never perfect, nor a paradise; neither was Jerusalem. Not since Eden has life been perfect...amd Saddam paved the supposed location of Eden over with concrete back in the 80's because he didn't like the current inhabitants. There's a metaphor in that somewhere, I'm sure of it.

My point is that anger has a place, and it's not with your family or friends or co-workers. There are reasons to be angry, and chances are that for most of us we do not encounter those reasons on an everyday basis. They do not occur in Starbucks, when we spill coffee on our pants; nor do they occur in traffic when we're running late for a meeting or a date or to catch a TV show. Anger should be directed towards governments who kill more than they help.

Anger and action can be some of the most powerful activites we ever combine. That's how the world is changed. Keep in mind that anger is not spite. Anger is not hatred. Anger is not based out of greed or competitiveness. Don't get angry because your neighbor has a nicer fill-in-the-blank-than you. Get angry because children do not have clean water to drink on a daily basis.

Willie says in his latest book, The Tao Of Willie, which Rob got me the audio version of for my birthday, that to take a breath and listen to ourselves breathe it to hear the sound of God. Breathing relaxes us as we know, but it's also the most important thing we can do on a daily basis. You might say we're always breathing, which you'd think is more or less always true, but when we take some time and we really breathe, I can guaratnee life will be different.

Hey here's a good Willie Nelson song:

Never think evil thoughts of anyone
It's just as wrong to think as to say
For a thought is but a word that's unspoken
In God's eyes He sees it this way
Lend a hand if you can to a stranger
Never worry if he can't repay
For in time you'll be repaid ten times over
In God's eyes He sees it this way
In God's eyes we're like sheep in a meadow
Now and then a lamb goes astray
But open arms should await it's returning
In God's eyes He sees it this way


  ¶ 6/10/2006 01:21:00 PM 0 comments

  sports and heck and...life I must say, at this point in my life I have absolutely no desire to attend The World Cup. Of course I am still planning on being in Vancouver in 2010 for the Women's Curling, and one day I'd love to live in a town where a major league baseball stadium is in the neighborhood. Well we'll just see.

I started to look at jobs tonight, but something inside me told me to stop for tonight. And maybe for a few days. I've told myself I needed to start looking soon, and I wound up having some time tonight in front of the computer...but I don't know. Heck, I don't know where to even start. Heck, man. Just heck.

Stupid Providence. Well I'm not giving in just yet. I'm being flexible. I'm remaining flexible. I'm not getting frustrated, not getting annoyed. You know I've noticed the smell of cigarette smoke on people's breath lately, especially around work. I mean yeah, life's tough and yeah work can get stressful, but don't take it out on yourself. Because then I have to smell your breath.

You can ignore that last part, I was just writing to myself. But answer this--Question: Is it a slow news day when the BBC devotes a 5 minutes of the World Service to the discovery of a new species of centimeter...or is the world just that distracted that it takes a great source like the BBC to point out how important that this is?  ¶ 6/07/2006 09:34:00 PM 0 comments

  Playlists for the Mark of the Beast and quarter-life crisis On Monday nights at Ren we open the church/armory to musicians and invite them to play a set free of charge. It's a pretty cool service we're fortunate enough to provide, and though audience sizes come and go (usually with the bands/musicians they're nodding or headbanging along to) I think just that it keeps going is a testament in itself. Tonight's featured music were pretty hard; the last two acts were a high school (?) Foo-Fighters-ish sounding group, and the last one were on their way to audition for the Warped Tour. (Note: I didn't know that was even still going). Anyways they were both pretty loud, and while the last group at least had some personality (they both had talent) it was still a little out of my league for me in my old age.
I went over to Becky, who works behind the counter at the coffee bar for Westside Arts, and made the comment that since supposedly the world is going to be going to hell and a handbasket in the morning (6-6-06...like you haven't seen a million commercials for The Omen by now) I should go home and listen to some of my favorite music, because I'd sure hate for the guys and gals I heard tonight to be the last music my earthly ears ever heard! She tne posed the question: What would be the three bands/musicians you could pick to listen to before it all comes to an end? Her answers were Allison Krauss and Union Station, then the Black Eyed Peas (just to remind her to be having a little fun in the last moments) and then ending up with the beautiful soprano Sara Brightman. I brought up Willie, my immediate gut reaction, followed by Foo Fighters and then perhaps ending up with a little Paul Simon. She totally agreed with the Paul Simon and ammended her list to include him as well. It's the end of the world, who's gonna tell if she had 3 or 4 on her list?

A little while later we wound up talking about quarter life crisis, as she's about to turn 24 in a few weeks and feels as if hers is on it's way. Of course I was fortunate/unfortunate to already experience mine, back in the summer of 2002. I was 20 years old and...well it's not important. Just glad it's come and gone. But man was that a tough time.

So maybe this will be the last entry, maybe no one will read it; maybe come 6:06 tomorrow morning we'll all be...dust in the wind. Dude.

Now Dust in the Wind, that's definately not a song I would like to hear right before I died.

Willie Nelson--The Maker/Goin' Home
George Gershwin--Rhapsody in Blue
Johnny Cash--That Lucky Old Sun (Just Rolls Aournd Heaven All Day)/You'll Never Walk Alone
Foo Fighters--New Way Home/Burn Away
Townes Van Zandt--Katie Bell/Snowin' On Raton
Lyle Lovett and His Large Band--Dr. T's Theme
Vince Guaraldi Trio--Christmastime Is Here (instrumental version)
Roy Orbison--It's Over
Paul Simon--Under African Skies/Once Upon a Time There Was an Ocean/St. Judy's Comet/Senorita With a Necklace of Tears/The Teacher

so there you go. good...night.  ¶ 6/05/2006 10:42:00 PM 1 comments

  "...like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic." The weekend went well, yesterday it was raining for most of the day, but I managed to get outside in the afternoon and do some jogging. Jogging in the cold, gray, wet world is a very beautiful occurance.

This morning at church I found out that one of my ministers, Marshall, was dismissed from his job on Friday as a professor at a local Bible college. No specific reason, or maybe many small ones outside of his influence (it all comes down to the Benjamins). That's tough man, everyone--especially his wife--was just in shock.. Marshall has been a big part of my life over the past few months as I've adjusted to life in Rhode Island; I pray that he'll be able to find work around here. He and his wife Stacy have two young kids and they've been living in on campus apartment; the school will be able to pay him through the summer, but it must be a rough situation. Cost of living up here is so high! They're family is back towards the middle of the country also, Wisconsin and Kentucky. It's all so new, and when these things happen the possibilities seem endless, which is not always a pleasant thing.
This happens just as I finish up a week of getting in the mindset of trying to pray and figure out what/where I'm headed as well. For me it's pretty nervewracking, but it also can be exciting. Transitions, man. Sometimes we can choo-choo-choose them; other times the decision is made for us. Marshall seemed to be in good spirits though, as much as one could expect. That doesn't happen by our own doing, not very easily.

1 Peter 5:7 says "Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you." Once I figured this part of the game out it's helped me immensely.

Nate and I continued our tradition of after church cinema, and even though he had already seen X3 with his sister he liked it so much he didn't mind at all seeing it again with me. I have to tell you, on top of being a pretty good flick and a nice coda to the series, the final two scenes--including the one after the credits were over--made it all worth it.  ¶ 6/04/2006 10:39:00 PM 0 comments

  "The Resurrection of Broncho Billy" Old Guard at the Rhode Island National Guard/EMA Headquarters: (checking my ID) Hussey? You related to Ruth Hussy, the actress?

Me: No, I don't think so.

Old Guard: I believe she was from Rhode Island.

Me: I think so, too.

Old Guard: No, she was. Born over off (random name) Avenue.

Me: Oh. Wow. (thinking to myself: "Is that near the Dunkin' Donuts?")
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It's moments like this one from yesterday that remind me how funny a place Rhode Island is. Everyone knows everyone. But not always in a cool way, like on Cheers. It's more like a large small town. No, not like one...that's exactly what it is.

Hey check out this painting that someone left in the bathroom at work. We came back from the long weekend and voila! I don't know what's more inspiring: the wild eagle, the Native Americans staring up into the heavens, or the fact that whoever placed it in the bathroom just left it up propped on top of the soap dispenser. And it's not a small painting, as you can see.

Just a few minutes ago I was in the kitchen mixing up a delicious batch of tuna fish. The windows were open throughout the house--despite the dreaded humidity that is still hanging around up here--and a storm front was starting to move in. Lightning was flashing, the sky was turning dark; I was chopping celery and listening to Joni Mitchell come across the speakers in my bedroom. It was awesome.  ¶ 6/01/2006 08:49:00 PM 0 comments