Part of a complete part of your balanced life... I wrote another entry a few minutes ago, but I've decided to save it as something I feel is more relevant has occured today. It wasn't time specific, so it'll come back out later. But onto right now: Call it karma, call it natural selection or just ID it as balance, somehow the universe just seems to equal itself out. I call it F-ing Brilliant.
Today when doing grunt work and calling agencies on a call list for the Volunteer Center, I wound up talking to a guy (Dr. actually) down in Bristol who helps lead a agency that provides food and clothing and va. reources and supplies for needy families. What made this call so amazing was that once he figured out what I was calling about he, his whole demeanor changed and he said "Oh, no we have all our volunteers set up and going strong (down here)!" He then went on, gushing about how they have over 1000 toys they are in the process of giving out to children, and how they were able to provide 4 or even 5 toys for needy children this past holliday season. He got so excited as he told me all that they do on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis (keep in mind all I was calling for was to make sure they still exist so we can keep them on out website). He just kept going on and on about all the things their organization does. 'Oh,' he added in his Itallian accent, '...and we're not looking for any publicity. This is all quiet you know? We just are so happy to be able to do this.' It was so cool!

Then a few minutes later my boss comes down and talks to me about a grant she just received. She had sent me the proposal she wrote up for us to get it and asked if I had read over it. I hadn't, but she talked about how now it would be mostly on my shoulders all the work that needed to be done (now that we have some money for...whatever it is I have to now do). Okay, so that's cool, whatever. Keeps me busy. Except as I began reading through the proposal I realize that my boss wasn't exactly...on the proposal, and now that we have been awarded the grant we (or, I) have a lot of work that needs to be completed before we can get up to speed from where we said we already were in order to receive the money. In other words...and I'm not saying anyone lied...but let's say maybe (edited--jrh) that the truth was stretched a tad. Then we were awarded a grant and now we have to accomplish not only what we said we would do with the money but also create what we said we already had in place. It's not as bad as I'm making it out to be I'm sure, maybe I'm just a little confused. Still this is the side of the nonprofit world that I don't get at all. The business side of nonprofits really amazes me; the fact that organizations with the intent in place towards community service and volunteerism have to be run as if they were for profit industries. I'm quickly realizing this might not be the field for me to spend life in.

No, in my life I'm very much the first person and I hope to stay that way until the day I croak. Still I have to realize that one could not exist without the other, and vice versa. This is life, and this is our world. And we can't do anything about it but smile and nod or scrap and yell. And then take a deep breath and smile again.  ¶ 2/24/2006 03:35:00 PM 2 comments

  2 runs, 1 book I want to go to Ruidoso and sit in front of the fireplace. I want to be in Grand Cayman listening to the roar of the ocean crashing against the rocks. Sometimes it's the things you take for granted that you miss the most. Like today, there came a point where I've never wanted more to just be at home playing domnioes and/or cards with my family.

"...Sometimes the bar hits you."  ¶ 2/22/2006 07:05:00 PM 4 comments

  Well for those keeping score:
1) the meeting this morning went well (from a personal and somewhat from a professional perspective) and again
2)Side A of The Who's Greatest Hits again is the prefect mix of music just about ever compiled. I think it just might be my "Get Psyched Mix". No Bon Jovi I know (so Barney might disagree) but it still rocks. And finally
3) I have a lot of work ahead of me.  ¶ 2/21/2006 12:10:00 PM 2 comments

  ...it's the impression that I get... I have a meeting in the morning that I can guarantee you I am the only person scheduled to be in attendance who is nervous. It's a RIVOAD Steering Committee meeting: essentially the Steering Committee plans the direction for the RIVOAD that I am playing an important role in helping establish. It's just that the more I get into it the more work I feel like needs to be done, and I am hesitant to bring to the table all the work and ideas I have that needs addressed. I'm anxious as to how some of my ideas will be received. As I try and define myself to these people, I'm anxious as to how I come off. The thing is, from conversations I've had and the tone of some of those I've talked to, I feel as if by far I am taking it all more serious than the others involved; this I can only imagine is because everyone else has much, much more on their plate than I do. These are some pretty important (locally) people that are in these rooms. At least, you know compared to me. This doesn't have to be a restless night, but I feel it might turn out to be one.

On a completely unrelated issue, the static electricity here in RI is WICKED! I can't put on a shirt--granted I wear a lot of fleece including my jacket--without having the crap shocked out of me. Literally, in some cases. It's disturbing.
ALSO The US womens curling team is officially out now. It seems like just last week when it all started...oh wait...well, even still. I for one enjoyed watching them play all last week when I got home from work. Made my week interesting. On the up side, I can look forward to it again in four years. See ya' in 2010 girls.  ¶ 2/20/2006 07:59:00 PM 1 comments

  10th place I get so upset as I sit at home and watch The Olympics to find that a large majority of the seats remain unfilled for the events. Especially US Women's Curling. These girls are cute, and they are talented. And by hearing them talk over their mikes during the broadcasts they seem pretty cool, too. So how come there's like 10 people there to cheer them on? It looks like a Texas Ranger game up in there! I've made up my mind that at some point in the future I will attend more than one Winter Olympics. I'll support my country, if only because someone has to. Plus, hey, it's The Olympics! Who wouldn't want to go?
G'head and scoff, I'll send you a postcard from...hold on, let me see where 2010 will be...Vancouver? Well, whatever. I'll be there.
2010, that's just like, four years away. It's practically here. We should start planning now! Who's with me?  ¶ 2/17/2006 12:15:00 PM 0 comments

  stupidity. I wore a tie today. No reason. Well, there was a reason. I still wore jeans and tennis shoes but I just decided to tuck in my shirt and wear a tie. I had no important meetings, in fact I could have been pretty casual. Instead I yuppied it up.
I left work in the afternoon and came home early and sat down to do some reading. Oh, and I untucked my shirt...but I just loosened my tie. I was only relaxing for a few minutes, because tonight I had to go serve as a rep for VCRI to a volunteer fair at Brown (oh! look at that--told you there was a reason).
About a half hour before leaving, shirt still untucked but tie on, my roommate Josh came in my room and commented somewhat mockingly, "Look at you, looking all spiffy today." I laughed, just saying that I felt like wearing a tie. Then I mentioned that I had to go to Brown. "Oh, I see."
"Yeah. But that's not why I wore a tie today!"
"Sure."
We laughed and he went back into the kitchen to stir his pasta. I started to think the thoughts I had avoided all day regarding my wardrobe. A few minutes later I tucked in my shirt and untied my necktie. I hung it in the closet and grabbed my courderoy sports coat. Inside I kicked myself for giving in to...something.
As I started out the door I turned to Josh.
"You ever been to Brown?"
"I love it there, yeah. I love to have lunch on their campus."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, I like to grab something on Thayer and go sit down on Brown's campus, try and blend in. Pretend like I'm a student there."

We both laughed. On the outside.  ¶ 2/15/2006 09:14:00 PM 0 comments

  Sabbath (Dreamville) It snowed today. I think it's still coming down right now actually. All day long it was beautiful white flakes that blanketed the city streets. For being in the city it was an aweful peaceful day. Last night was even better. It was so quiet outside, no cars, no sirens; if you tried hard enough I imagine you could have heard the snow falling. That's what I remember about the moments right before I fell asleep, the silence. What was so amazing was that life retained the same muted state for when I awoke this morning.
I was able to move past last week today. Not sure when it actually happened, but it did, and now I'm ready for this one that's ahead of us. I awoke this morning to an e-mail from my grandfather in Grand Cayman with the following message:
Hahaha. I smiled and sent him back a few pictures of the snow. Then I read for a few hours. I talked to my mother and sister. I ventured outside to in the early afternoon hours to take some pictures around the neighborhood. Then I watched a movie I rented--Elizabethtown--and it made me mellow. (Being a stated fact already in the record that I am in fact a sap, the following comments are allowed with no fear of losing any {more of} my manhood). I liked the movie. I like the idea of a girl out there, I like the idea of road trips like was featured, and I definately loved the soundtrack (Cameron Crowe has yet to fail us in that regard). I'm going to stop there before I really embaress myself. So I watched the movie, pausing halfway through when I decided I better dig my car out for in the morning before I lost daylight. So that took about an hour, but the labor was actually pretty relaxing (mostly). Then I came back in and finished it up, took a shower, had a shave, stared at the haircut I paid too much for yesterday and laughed at how bad it turned out to be (I'm on a tight budget...I can't do that anymore! Must find a good barber!!!) and then came back to my room, where I am now. Uploaded my pictures, cranked up the Tom Petty, flipped on The Olympics, and felt at peace for the first time in several days.
It was a culmination of events that engendred a mix of emotions that brought me to being here now. That's why I took time above to recount my entire day. Today was a Day of Rest, but not in the typical sense. In the sense that how mental functions differ from the other six days of the week. And I think that's how it was intended to be. One day at a time.  ¶ 2/12/2006 07:37:00 PM 1 comments

  my new desktop got a package from home today, scribbled with graffiti.  ¶ 2/10/2006 06:24:00 PM 4 comments

  come and get it on my lunch break right now--which consisted of scarfing down a PB&J and returning e-mails--and I just realized that the meeting I have this afternoon at the CVS World Headquarters (that's right, folks) will be followed by a FREE DINNER BUFFEET. Mmmmmmm...free food.

Also one of the ladies downstairs here at VCRI that works for RSVP (just ignore the acronyms) told me this morning that she would start bringing in left over Meals On Wheels b/c they always have extras that they let go to waste. And Life...Is...Good...  ¶ 2/09/2006 01:20:00 PM 6 comments

  Happy Jack. J.D.'s Narration: And four years of pre-med, four years of med school, and tons of unpaid loans have made me realize one thing...
Nurse Kearney: [Close-up] Good. Could you go drop an NG tube on the patient in 234, and call the attending if the lavage is positive?
[J.D. fidgets and looks around nervously]
J.D.'s Narration: I don't know jack.

Man today was hectic. I had a 9:00 meeting that I didn't drive to in advance to find out where the heck I was going, so naturally I was late. It was in Cranston...the name just evokes gross feelings. You have to say it all nasaly. Say it with me: "Craaaaaaaaaaaanston." Hahahaha. After that meeting I was overwhelmed with info and ideas and filler. This was followed by the rest of the day, where I was mulling over everything from the morning on top of many other subjects on my plate that made me feel overwhelmed. But I love everything I am doing, so being overwhelmed doesn't really matter. (Plus, in my car I have a casette tape of The Who's Greatest Hits that my friend Tyler bought me when I was like 13, so I just dig a few songs at full blast and all is good. You know it had to be overwhelming if I switched off NPR.)

Another (voluntary) meeting after work down in Warwick and I'm just now getting home. But when I got here one of my roommates was playing some Creedence Clearwater Revival. So again...all is good.  ¶ 2/08/2006 07:48:00 PM 3 comments

  Hey, Preppie. (boom! crash!) 'Rhode Island is kind of like a large high school.'

I won't say who said this today, but I'm finding out that this is very much the case. So as the new kid in town, I can fill one of many roles. Shy Guy. Eh, I've been shy guy before. Screw him. Worthless Guy. I can't afford to be him. Smart Alleck, Back of the Classroom but Always Makes the Girls Laugh Guy. Well, getting warmer.

A.C. Slater. We all remember when Slater moved into Bayside High, and Zach Morris got scared b/c Slater started to woo Kelly and schmuck everyone over. Now I may be on to something...but seriously, it's me. You think I could really pull this off? Well, my Dad's not in the military nor do I know ballet...

I'll figure it out.

In other news, I'm in the process of going through one of FEMA's online courses and I've come to a section with terminology. The terms include some of the following: Base, Camp, Heliport, Helispot., Tactical Resources, etc, etc. All in the name of safety and well-being, of course.

For someone who's not involved in the military just knowing that I'm in a field of work that could possibly involve any of the aforementioned terms makes me feel funny inside. Like when I used to crash my GI Joe's into the ground and make cool explosion sounds.  ¶ 2/07/2006 06:18:00 PM 1 comments

  the truth I don't support the War in Iraq. I feel so not because I disagree with it, but because I feel I was lied to by my elected (?) leaders and innocent people have died, and I don't support that. The fact is, I rather do support the fact that Sadam Hussein needed to be ousted, as he was an evil man who performed evil task against innocent people. Yet Saddam was one of many, many evil people in the world that cause harm to fellow human beings. It gets overwhelming when we hear stories of Rwanda, Croatia, North Korea, Haiti, and many other locales across the globe. And the thing to remember is that it is not a current phenomenon; The United States massacred the Native Americans, The Spanish conquered the Americas, The Mongols ravaged Asia. We live in a cruel world, inside and out.
The stories are exponential in number and effect. I'm reminded of them when I meet someone like the people I seem to be meeting on a more regular basis as of lately. They are people who devote their work life to extending two hands out to hopefully assist in picking someone up.

They are people who work for helping strangers, get caught up in standard bureaucracy, but never forget the reason they are doing the work they are doing. I theorize that for every dictator that ever existed there are one hundred people who devote their entire lives not to destruction or ego, but to construction and selflessness. I have no trouble ever appreciating the joys and amazement that is the opportunity to experience life. Nevertheless when I meet people like this, it makes life that much more worth living.  ¶ 2/06/2006 07:45:00 PM 4 comments

  punchline From Projo online edition:

PROVIDENCE - A Woonsocket man was arrested this afternoon after he tried to drive a car up the south steps of the State House with his elderly mother in a passenger seat.

Rep. Peter Kilmartin, a Pawtucket police captain, heard a "loud crash," looked out a State House window and saw the car climbing the stairs. The Dodge Diplomat made it up about 12 steps before backing down and parking off the steps...
... The man was arrested outside, near the north entrance, said Stephen Tocco, chief of the Capitol police. He was carrying a pair of sharp scissors, according to Tocco...
...Kilmartin said the incident chipped the marble State House steps and left a trail of antifreeze.

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I don't know what's more comical here, that the car was a Dodge Diplomat or that it left a trail of antifreeze on the State House steps.

  ¶ 2/04/2006 04:21:00 PM 1 comments