"...wall to wall floors in America." Don't know how long this story will be up. "What people around the world love about American culture, the report said, is a sense of freedom found in its writers, musicians, painters, choreographers and filmmakers." So did anyone else see Scorsese's amazing documentary 'No Direction Home' on PBS this week? Talk about captivating, especially the last hour of Part II.
"'America is still seen as a place where things can happen, where change is not feared; a land of diversity, openness, candor and generosity,' the report said."
Ok.  ¶ 9/29/2005 10:15:00 PM 10 comments

  one step closer... I finally got all my paperwork in order and submitted the additional requested material to my screening nurse at headquarters in D.C. Included was more charts from all over the place: Texas Tech, Denton, Fort Worth, Beijing. Okay, maybe not that last one. But it made me realize that I've seen a lot of waiting rooms in the past few years. So what does this mean? Well if they received everything I faxed them, and they don't need any additional medical information from me, then hopefully they can medically clear me and I can be on my way for a quick legal clearance and my information will proceed to the placement office where....(drumroll) I will find out where I could be serving for the next two years. So if you don't mind pray for everything that happens now, and next, and in the future after that.  ¶ 9/28/2005 11:52:00 PM 2 comments

  Heat cools, music fades. ACL Fest on Sunday As I pulled out of town I dialed up my favorite Austin station KGSR 107.1 and after a few mellow Texas tunes the DJ threw on some Sting. "If I Ever Lose My Faith in You." I usually hate that song. Just flat out loathe it. But for some reason as I was cruising along I-35 at 75 mph, top down on the convertible, Sting blaring, for some reason the moment just seemed absolutely right.

Yesterday I attended ACL Festival down in Austin. Part of me would have loved to be there for all three days but damn if it wouldn't have beat me down. I went down there with the anticipation of partly cloudy weekend with a slight chance of rain. I even heard of "Rita Hates Rock Music" t-shirts being sold. Rita of course as we know skewed East and spared most of Texas, including Austin, where Sunday we supposedly hit 108-ish. And I felt every degree of it standing there bathing in a mix of sweat, spreading sunburn, and amazing music. I didn't bring my camera mainly because I didn't want to lull it around, but Chris had his so I might steal some pictures to post later on. We started the day in San Antonio, where we met up the night before with Rob and Casey and decided to head down there for a game of Scrabble. We wound up crashing and awaking early to drive back up to Austin to pick my Mom up at her hotel and get her to the airport. After a quick meal and a shower we headed out to the park where we hooked up with some of Chris' friends who we'd spend the day off and on with. Moving from the New Amsterdams to Eisley we just continued to revel in the day. Eisley was simply amazing and they were grateful and apologetic to all of us standing in the heat listening to them--which was cool. But the heat had only begun by that point. So about two bottles of water later Doves came on, and it just continued to get better. It was all a predecessor though to who would come next. Three words: The Arcade Fire. French Candian, yes, and the energy level was something I had never seen before on stage. Obviously the heat didn't bother them as they jumped around in black suits and dresses with hand warmers. It was so brilliant. So alive. It was during the heat of the day and I'll admit that despite constant water it was even getting to my Caribbean-toned skin. Still when it was all over the only sunburn came on the top of my head and on the side of my neck facing the sun as I moved around to the music on the West side of the park.
We next moved down to join some of the group at the East side of the stage where Colplay would eventually be jamming. I wanted to meander back and catch Wilco but once we made our way to the ground and the shade I decided to hell with it and stuck around for Franz Ferdinand, those Scottish goofy bastards. Wild energy, smooth jams, good show. By the time they were winding up the sun had finally started to set and we al began to realize that a massive cloud of dust was filling the sky. It was a beautiful scene really, the mob of sweaty people, all sharing in the mess. Coldplay finally came on and Chris Martin couldn't shut up about the amazing show The Arcade Fire put on earlier. Which didn't get old to me since I agreed, but I just hoped it wouldn't spoil their music for me. (I jammed to Funeral almost the entire way home today, and it just seems to keep getting better, so that's great. Martin kept bringing them up which got some jabs from the audience around me, as well as myself at one point, but it was all derserving. Their music is it, and their love show was by far the most powerful of the day). Then of course Coldplay gave us everything a rock show could hope for. Music, lights, special effects, audience interaction and sing-a-longs. Most everyone knew the lyrics so the whole crowd was singing along and swaying. Their set allowed for everyone to feel connected to each other having survived the heat and the dust and the crowds to just experience the night. Let the day pass away and experience the final show of the weekend, and some 70,000 of us did. What a excellent experience.  ¶ 9/26/2005 08:49:00 PM 5 comments

  Why I Love God (a story of the belief in karma and Austin, TX) Rita is now a Category 5 storm and its latest projected landfall still has it hitting the Texas Gulf Coast. Yet I still plan on heading to South this weekend, despite the partly cloudy chance of meatballs. I hate that name, 'Rita'. I don't know why, but I'm sure it has something to do with my disdain for the comedianne Rita Rudner. Ugh that Rudner.

And yet here I am, 12 hours away from my trip to Austin for some fun in the sun, good times with friends, and British/Candian/Wilco Rock and Roll. I have been looking forward to this trip for weeks...nay months. So of course what happens? My car breaks down. That's right, my 1997 Pontiac Grand Am, who has been on more dates with mechanics than I have with...mechanics...is waiting dead in front of my house waiting to be picked up by a wrecker and taken to the garage. I have no idea what's wrong with it. My oil was low, but it's been low before. All I know is I was coming home from lunch at Billy Miner's when my car started reving up the RPM's and the check engine light would flash on. It did this about half a dozen times in about a three mile distance. I put in two quarts and tried to start it to drive it around but it wouldn't stay running. Of course I knew this would happen, I knew it would happen in June when I got the paid internship and I knew it in when I came home last month. I knew that any money I made would have to go to fixing something on my car; it's just been an inevitable fact of life for me. But I've put 120,00+ miles on it...I think we're at 134, 144. Something like it. I don't even care anymore. But that's bad karma talking, so no wonder she treats me the way she does.
And I wouldn't be too worried about it, I can always get to Austin somehow. Southwest flies out of Love Field like every 45 minutes.
I haven't been worshiping lately. I'm not talking about singing "Glory Glory" and all that mess, but worshiping in my heart. No serious quiet times or real focus on my spiritual side, not anything like I did this Summer. I have excuses, but no reasons. I have bought some CD's and DVD's though, like the American idiot that I am.
I'm taking my Mom down to Austin tomorrow when I go, she has a conference over the weekend. She was going to fly back on Sunday morning while I just stayed around and hung out with my friends. That's still the plan, if we can figure something out. It's just that...for reasons I don't care to make public...we have to go in my car with me driving. My mom can't drive down there. But it's not exactly working out like that this afternoon.
So let's recap. A planned trip out of town that's less than 24 hours away. Car trouble greets us now and a Category 5 hurricane awaits us when we arrive. Is this a sign, Carson Daly? I really don't know.

See you in Austin. Stock up on batteries. Might not hurt to pray, either. My Name is Earl.  ¶ 9/21/2005 04:39:00 PM 1 comments

  reasons

I've been settled into my room for a little over a week now, but yesterday I found one more box in the garage I needed to go through. It included mostly personal writings from the past few years as well as class notes and readings from college. In one folder I found these receipts I had kept, several years old now, from Boston, Manhattan, and Saint Augustine, FL. Back from another chapter of life...  ¶ 9/18/2005 01:02:00 PM 2 comments

  Dear Abby,

I am a 23 year old male. I have been shaving my face since I was about sixteen years old. For the past month I have stopped shaving--the longest time I have gone about doing so. (I'm just trying to see what it looks like.) Anyways today I looked into the mirror and I realized that the hair on my right cheek isn't growing in as full as the hair on my left cheek. What do you think I should do about this?

--F'd Up Face in Fort Worth  ¶ 9/17/2005 05:43:00 PM 2 comments

  moon view from the suburbs   ¶ 9/15/2005 11:01:00 PM 3 comments

  Hey. I'm Josh, and I'm signing up for the Peace Corps... This statement usually gets mixed reactions from people but for the most part it's all good, positive inquiries. A good example would be the other night when I talked about it with Tyler, Allison, and Christie and Allison's parents. Her parents I've always though were cool anyways, but for once I actually talked about it instead of someone quickly finding a chance to change the subject as most people do. Other than my close friends and family that's how things usually go. Then there's people like my dermatologist today, he said he thought that everyone should serve their country. When people put it like that--serving our country--it really strikes a unique chord in me. A lot of times I have mixed reactions about the United States and our practices and culture and whatnot. But I've been listening off and on to the Judge Roberts Surpeme Court Conformation on the radio when I'm out and it just makes me giddy. Not giddy like I secretly get when I watch Gilmore Girls but giddy like early episodes of The West Wing/senior year of high school in Mr. Gerards' government class. Like when I feel naiive about the crap that the U.S. does and proud of the establishment. I mean, the process, the questions, the formality, it's all so beautiful. I can completely forget who these Senators are, what party they sold their soul to and what they believe, and just listen in awe to the process unfolding as it has for over 200 years. It's just the captivating art of democracy. And it reminds me why I'm proud to be an American. That and my close friend Michael Levy, who I also had lunch with today.

But back to my dermatologist, this dude was something else. "Who's in here," I heard him say before he opened the door. Most doctors examine a chart or something. Not this guy. 'Who are you and what am I doing for you?' Then we talked about the PC and naturally Katrina. "Most people fail to remember that we have it made in this country," he said at one point. Interesting guy. At one point he joked about maybe becoming a Peace Corps doctor after he retired, but as he did so he gave his nurse the strangest look which made me think he wasn't serious. I also think that if she hadn't have forced out a smile that he would have killed her right there and then. Maybe me too, for bringing the whole thing up. So this medical screening process is brutal--yesterday I had to drive back and forth to Denton to have a doctor up there fill something out in person on one of the forms. A two hour drive for two minutes of work. Literally. But so what man, if it means I get there I'll drive to El Paso for a doctors visit.

Sometimes life just makes sense to me, and when it does I just feel great inside and out. You know, the music and lighting is just right, your mind is clear, and the even though its your last beer it is the perfect taste and temperature. But then I usually start back to thinking and it all goes to hell. In fact I feel a thought coming on, so I guess it's time to sign off.  ¶ 9/13/2005 09:59:00 PM 5 comments

  the way we think. I was in a class earlier this year where participation was a standard routine. It was an Urban Anthropology class and on this particular day we were theorizing how the changing dynamics of the modern city would affect the city of the future. When I casually mentioned that my major was Emergency Management/Disaster Planning my professor asked if I had anything to share about what I might know about how safe cities of the future will be. Trying to sound impressive (as one always does when there are girls listening) I threw out my standard answer of "Well, never move to New Orleans! That place will cease to exist in our lifetime."
Six months later and it couldn't be more true. I commented comically earlier on the film "Red Dawn." Relying on the military for law and order in American cities, yeah right. But it's happening now. We all saw Outbreak, and no matter how much that movie sucked the images of quarantines and black hawk choppers in American towns still play over in our minds. If only the answer lied in throwing some monkey out into the ocean...or however that movie ended.
I haven't had any television in the house since I arrived home so I've been relying on NPR or the internet for all my news from Louisiana. Even though I was somewhat prepared for it to happen eventually, it still blows my mind everyday. And I just returned from a hurricane ravaged island. But it's nothing like what has happened here.
Like most Americans I've been to the French Quarter. I've had coffee at the Cafe du Monde, I've listened to the kids tap dance in Nikes, I visited the Worlds Only Voodoo Museum. I saw my first transvestite. My last visit was two and a half years ago, where my dad met up with me while I was off interning and traveling the country. I had a stop to make at Tulane and we spent a few days at the Hotel Panchartrain in the Garden District, right off St. Charles avenue--clearly one of the most beautiful streets in the nation. At least it was. We had Sunday brunch at the Bluebird Cafe...and it was one of the best breakfasts I ever ate.
I used to tell people not to move to New Orleans. It was a truly beautiful city, and maybe sometime it will be again. But it will never be the same. From a emergency management standpoint, from an human rights standpoint, from an economic standpoint, from an American--world--standpoint the city will forever be synonymous with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
As beautiful a city as it was, I never really liked New Orleans. I loved the music, I loved the food, I even liked the people I met there. But the last time I visited I imagined it being the true last time for me. I don't know yet what I am learning from witnessing all this. It's overwhelming and it has been from Day One. And I'm just a witness through the media. Nevertheless there are lessons we all can learn from the city of New Orleans. Some of them are pretty easy to figure out, others might take time to process. I only decided to write all this tonight after reading the most disturbing article yet from the Times website. The images make me sigh, the voices make me cry. But this writing just made me stop. And the thing is, I don't feel like we're being overwhelmed with it yet. Maybe it's because I haven't had CNN, or maybe because it's just another 9/11 all over again.
One thing I have learned is to change my standard answer. If you want to live in New Orleans, live there. Live wherever you want to, be it Austin or Anchorage. Just don't be ignorant about it. The minute we take our surroundings for granted we've already lost. Earth was here long before we were, and it'll remain long after we've left. If anything, we're in Her way. But unlike of that famous Big Easy tale suggests, we don’t have to be a Confederacy of Dunces. We choose to be.  ¶ 9/10/2005 12:31:00 AM 5 comments

  ...and another thing. I thought I came home to Fort Worth, not Mexico City. This isn't Mexico, is it? What's the deal with this smog, killers? geezum if living here won't make you want to join the Sierra Club, nothing will.  ¶ 9/08/2005 01:02:00 PM 2 comments

  You know the whole reason I spent the summer in Grand Cayman is because my grandparents live there. I'm very greatful towards them for many, many reasons throughout my life. "They be good people." I love them very much. So I figured the best way to repay them would be to embaress them on the internet. So here we are sitting on the couch.

And here they are folding my underwear. It takes special people to fold my underwear for me. Thanks guys.  ¶ 9/07/2005 08:17:00 PM 2 comments

  i'm hot. man i don't know what i did, because i sure thought it was screwed up and since i'm not too computer-savy...well what this rambling is about is that my house is now hot (wireless...i don't know the proper lingo)! i'm sitting downstairs in my room surfing wireless. we don't have cable yet, so no tv and without internet in my room i was relying on NPR for all my news. which i didn't mind, actually. sitting around at night listening to the BBC World Service, I almost forgot I was in suburbia for a moment. but then i didn't.
with everything going on, and how it is right up my alley, i felt strange not being able to see and hear what is going on. sad commentary on my media reliance, isn't it? although perhaps i usually would i'm not going to say a lot about it all going on down here. just if you can make a monetary donation find a way to do it. pray for the affected, and pray for all the volunteers who are really working their tails off and have the best intentions towards it all. like my best bud Rob and his wife Casey who have been volunteering down on one of the bases in San Antonio for way too many hours this past weekend. volunteers are my heroes.

so i've never lived in a house with stairs. it can get to be a pretty good workout. i'm heading out now to buy some books. books!  ¶ 9/06/2005 04:27:00 PM 5 comments

  This is what it looked like right before I left. It was also the last picture on the memory card in my camera.

Back in Fort Worth has been moving and unpacking. Slowly. It's stressing my mom and even my sister out. I hate it. I'm trying not to let it get to me. I suppose its easier to think that way but I guess a lot harder to convey my thoughts into words and actions. So that was my prayer this morning as I jogged up the street to get the paper get the paper.
Ok, back to settling in.  ¶ 9/04/2005 02:49:00 PM 1 comments

  GTT I arrived home yesterday, and already the temperatures are hotter than I've experienced all summer. It's all just fine though. No matter where I go I'll never forget August/September weather in Texas. It can be warm, but it also can be beautiful. Brings back some interesting memories as well.
I'm in our new house now with my mom and sister. I'm not on my computer yet, I should have the house set up for wireless by this weekend. I'll upload some pictures then. I've been moving and setting up my room all day, listening to the news out of the Gulf Coast. I don't know what to say. Pray. I'm tired, so I guess that's all for now. My old close friend Levy called me tonight. So I guess I really am home.  ¶ 9/01/2005 11:48:00 PM 5 comments